I'm drowning

The weather today reflects the mood of my heart and soul.  Autumn has arrived with cool, crisp air, the changing color of the leaves. the sun setting so early...too early.

This darkness...my lonely, bruised heart are one and the same.

My divorce not even a month old....and the man I never stopped loving has been dead for over 2 years; and my heart aches for him, breaks for him...knowing I was the one who made the mistake of leaving him.  Yet I am so happy that he found another woman to love for the last years of his life.

Now I feel like the goldfish that was dropped out of the fish bowl, and I'm suffocating for air, I'm drowning in my tears.  

Will I ever be loved again the way I once was?