Monday, November 10, 2014

It Arrives!!!

Well, my long awaited new computer arrives tonight.  My old HP  Vista  just  finally gave up the ghost.

I dropped off my old modem on Friday; to have the data transferred over to the new one; but the hard drive was so corrupt on the old computer;

 that what should have been a 24 hr. job has turned into a 3 day job.  Goes to show 'ya what a fire will do to the insides of a computer; even after a "clean out" and "new hard drive".

But, the story has a happy ending, and my new computer comes  home tonight.  I'm sure I will have some frustrating days ahead of me as I learn to operate Windows 8.1.....but I will do it and conquer the beast!

Wish me luck, send me good karma........and I will be talking to you all soon from my new desktop!



Tuesday, November 4, 2014

A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words

I think this picture says it all....Marilyn was one of the most intelligent
women I have ever read about.

No dumb blonde.....just a beautiful, big hearted, kind woman who knew more than she ever let on.



Monday, November 3, 2014

The Rainbow Bridge

My very good friend lost her "middle child" this past Saturday.  Dex was 14 years old and a big boy; full of love and kisses.  My heart aches for her and her family.

I've been through this with several of my kitties; but none as painful as the loss of my Kiyoko and MacLennon.......lost is a fire at my condo.  But I am comforted by this poem and I believe that we will be reunited with our lost "children" when we cross over.

Much love to you, my friend......this is for Dex, Kiyoko and MacLennon...

 


Saturday, November 1, 2014

The Open Door

 


The door is open, but the room is dark
You said you'd be here, that you'd bring the light;
but you're not here......

But your broken promises, you're empty words,
your smooth, snake-tongued whispers that I foolishly believe
Echo in this darkness....

Happens again and again,
yet I can't stop needing you...
You never see me, never hear me;
It's like I'm invisible, a ghost,
whose screams are silent to your ears....

The door is open, but the room is dark;
You said you'd be here,
that you'd bring the light;
But you're not here, you're never here,
so the room remains forever dark........

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Butterfly Emerges Inspite of All

 

An old gray aluminum  table
A record player bought with my own money;
An album holder, lining up my treasures

A 1950's finished basement where it all sat;
A refugee, a sanctuary, a private haven
where I listened to their voices, their words,
over and over and over again.

Innocent lyrics at first; holding their hands
was easy and safe; and I was a s innocent as those
first songs.

But growth cannot be stopped--their music reflected their
genius, their truths, their  troubles, their souls-----and as
they struggled with the pangs of evolution; I let myself evolve
with them.

John's voice was husky, sensual, weaving his magic,
weaving his pain; weaving his joy;
making me feel "depth" and "real" for the very
first time.
 


Friday, October 24, 2014

50 Years Since the Invasion


 
50 sets of seasons have gone by
50 years of my life has past,
and I sometimes try to sit and "remember"
events that happened--how my life happened
after the Invasion

But it's a blur, one year running into the next;
with a few stand out memories
Nothing has stayed really clear or pivotal,
except one single event, the one that gave my heart
and my soul it's direction--a path--a meaning.

I never knew him personally,
never met him,
yet he changed me forever.
John Lennon made me "feel"
made me "care", made me
"passionate".

But like LuLu sane in "To Sir With Love"
how do you thank someone for taking you
from crayons to perfume?

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Years Flown By

The years have crept upon me;
62 of them have left their mark on my face and body

No more the curly haired little blonde girl who discovered
the meaning of life in 1964.
But it was a life that my "Beaver Cleaver" world disapproved of.

My music was noise,
My ideas; unacceptable to the "Cleavers".
I was a caterpiller whose cocoon was opening,
as the "Cleaver's" were desperately trying to
push my butterfly back in.

They succeeded in clipping my wings back;
but couldn't stop them from rowing--slowly.
But for those "formative years"
I stayed by myself, alone, private,
absorbing the world around me like
a sponge; listening; until finally that
one person said, "The sun is out, the sky is blue,
it's beautiful, and so are you......why don't you come out
and play"?

And his name was John.

Friday, October 17, 2014

How It Began

Cookie cutter suburban houses, manicured lawns, formica counter tops
"Leave It To Beaver" fathers, "June Cleaver" mothers

Black and white TV'S, big yellow school buses,
uniforms, crisp and clean; white blouses, patent leather shoes
rules never questioned; for fear of ruler slaps

Baby Boomers Babies, that was certainly me;
born to conservative, authoritative parents who taught me their golden rule
"Children are to be seen, but never heard".

My mouth was physically closed for me;
My mind stubbornly stayed opened
"I Have A Dream" rang true to my ears,
true to my heart; started a young passion.

Then, on my transitor radio,
January, 1964, I heard them say
"They Wanted To Hold My Hand"
and the course of my life was changed
forever..................

Monday, July 14, 2014

Will I ever learn that his "jokes" destroy?

 
Again, I am in a situation I should have known better then to trust.  The difference between a few years ago and now; is that I refused to participate in "the joke"; and asked a friend how to handle telling the "jokster" NO, I'm not doing it.
 
Well, that's what I told him.....NO....and the reprecussions from that are crumbling my world down around me; like a stale bag of cookies.  I am damned if I do and damned if I don't........I don't ever come out even or unscatched. 
 
I never knew the darkness or the viciousness of the "jokster" until a couple of days ago.....never did I think I would ever hear him say the words "You stupid, fucking idiot" to me......or that if I thought I could match wits with him, he would "kick my ass from here to Milwaukee".  The rage from him was terrifying and I am grateful it was only over the phone.  I would never want to be standing in front of him for a "one sided" screaming fest like I received......I would be afraid it would make a turn for the physical rage.......I've been there, had that done to me in my first marriage......and never want it to happen again.  NO MAN will ever lay a hand on me again.
 
What saddens me the most is the hurt inflicted on the other friend; the one I asked for advice.  It seems that when evil wants in my door; it will find it's way; even using others to do so.
 
But, my faith in God is strong; and I know He has this in His Hands now and is taking care of the battle damage.  Many lessons I have learned from this; and they are written in my book of my life in permanent ink.....never to fade or be erased.......always there to remind me what paths to avoid.
 
The sun will shine again; it will take time; but it will shine again.......

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Revolution that began in 1963

 
 
 
 
 
Editor's note: Author Robin Morgan is former editor in chief of the UK's Sunday Times Magazine. Ahead of his forthcoming book and exhibition, "1963: The Year of the Revolution," Morgan sets out the case that 50 years on, modern art, fashion and music still owe more to those 12 months than any other period in history.
(CNN) -- Fifty years ago this month, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy numbed the world.
But as the front pages of history were being printed, there was one scoop slipping by virtually unnoticed: the western hemisphere was witnessing a youthquake.
Only weeks earlier, "Beatlemania" was born, when thousands of screaming girls at London Heathrow greeted a young boy-band home from a short tour of Sweden. Passing through the airport was stalwart American TV host Ed Sullivan who, on seeing the hysterical adulation offered up to four mop-topped boys, decided to have them on his show.
Whether anyone was aware of it at the time, the youth revolution was underway. It had been gathering momentum all through 1963 -- pied pipers with guitars inspired young people to seize the day, to reject the lives led by their parents, and create their own music, fashion and culture.
Times they were a-changing
The Beatles went from relative obscurity at the start of 1963 to performing in front of 73 million Americans -- nearly a third of the population -- on the Ed Sullivan Show at the beginning of 1964.
Pop groups -- most still fresh from school -- were suddenly being invited to the likes of Buckingham Palace and the White House. President Lyndon B. Johnson had one band, The Dave Clark Five, frogmarched up the steps of Air Force One -- so he could get their autographs.
A generation that had been tolerated became a generation to be wooed. Their stage had been built; 1963 was the opening night -- and so radical was their new path, such a break from the past, that they'd no sense of what was waiting for them.
"We would sit in a club, me, the Stones, the Beatles, the models -- and we'd talk about how it would only last a couple of years and then we'd have to get jobs like our parents," recalls Terry O'Neill, the celebrated British photographer who chronicled the sweeping changes in London in 1963.

The Fifth Beatle

Working for the Beatles
"Ringo was going to be a hairdresser, Mick Jagger thought he'd have to work in a bank. The models just thought they'd let their hair down before they found a husband or got a proper job as a secretary.
"But suddenly, in that one year we realized, the lives we were living weren't just a rite of passage. We could be anything we wanted to be. Nobody was going to stop us. None of us were trained. Eric, Keith, Paul and John, none of them could read a note of music. I picked up a camera. I had no idea what I was doing. But nobody told us we couldn't.
That, says O'Neill, is what was truly special about 1963. "We could be whatever we wanted to be, whatever we wanted to say we were."
A hard day's night
Speaking to me in his last interview weeks before his death last year, legendary hairdresser Vidal Sassoon put the sense of youthful irreverence and creativity that would define an era into context.
"After the war, Britain was broke, we were broke, [so this meant] the kids were brought up in an extraordinary mood of rebuilding and rebelliousness," he said.
Sassoon, a working-class boy from London's East End, had focused his ambition to be a hairdresser and moved upmarket into London's mega-posh Mayfair. While his salon had served the aristocracy and the wives of rich and powerful men, Sassoon -- in the spirit of the age -- resisted establishment conventions and created a stark, geometric statement of youthful independence: The wedge bob cut.
We would sit in a club, me, the Stones, the Beatles, the models -- and we'd talk about how it would only last a couple of years
Terry O'Neill, photographer
"I walked past his salon one day and saw this photograph of a haircut. It was the five point bob," says Mary Quant -- who would herself service the burgeoning cult of youth by severing 12 inches off a hem, thereby inventing the minidress. "I wanted to look like that model. Everyone I knew wanted to look like that model."
In a recording studio in Manhattan, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards says that the youth of 1963 changed the world "with guitars, patterns, scissors, paint brushes, cameras, and mold-breaking, often naïve ideas.
Time is on my side
"For years we'd been told, 'you'll go into the army, that'll sort you out'. Then suddenly we didn't have to go into the army," Richards says.
The post-war draft had ended in Britain and was being scaled down in the United States. Young people had grown up expecting to do three years of military service and then, out of nowhere, "we had those years back," says Richards.
All that newly discovered free time led to a burst of expression that was, at times, shocking. That year, a young Andy Warhol moved into a fire- house on New York's East Eighty-seventh Street to stretch the boundaries of the art world, and a young David Hockney invented his own palette.
A clothing company called Levi's recognized a trend and launched its pre-shrunk jeans; Timothy Leary was fired by Harvard and began his Millbrook experiment; the Monterey and Newport folk festivals created a new template for the mass celebration of youth.
And it wasn't just the prosperity and the freedom to explore new music and wear new fashions to dance and parade in: The contraceptive pill became widely available to young women, liberating them from fear of unwanted and adolescence-curtailing pregnancy.
The kids were brought up in an extraordinary mood of rebuilding and rebelliousness
Vidal Sasson, hairdresser
In that one year, nobodies made names for themselves that would span half a century, and whose contribution to art and culture will continue to span centuries to come.
It's thanks to Jagger, Dylan and the Beatles; to Quant, Sassoon; and to the countless other fashion mavens, musicians and artists who emerged that year that 18-year-olds today command the attention of politicians and Wall Street.
Before 1963, youth was largely acquiescent and acquisitive. After 1963, they were impossible to ignore. They were catered to. They were marketed to. They were listened to. They were heard.

Thursday, April 10, 2014


Instead of constantly finding things to complain about . . .
Why don't we ALL instead find things that are BLESSINGS in our lives today . . .
And feel ultimately GRATEFUL for ALL THE GOOD THINGS WE HAVE . . .
Let's take JUST ONE DAY & stop complaining & instead be THANKFUL . . .
We ALL know how the Law of Attraction works, correct? . . .
It's a Universal Law that brings to us what we think about & focus on most . . .
This law is not prejudice ~ It does not judge ~ It does not discriminate . . .
It simply does as it's told to do ~ & brings what we ask for even without knowing it . . .
So ~ if we spend our time complaining & focusing on what we don't have . . .
What do you imagine we're attracting when we do this . . .
That's right ~ what we don't want & don't have &/or what we're complaining about . . .
Do you truly wish to do that . . . or are you simply caught up in a bad habit . . .
If it's the later . . . then YOU have the power to CHANGE this habit . . .
Habits can be broken & rightfully so when they're counter-productive . . .
If they don't serve our own or anyone else's higher good why go on with them . . .
So ~ here's your challenge for today . . .
When you find yourself complaining - STOP MIDSTREAM . . .
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING . . . AWAKEN TO YOUR NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR . . .
Change your train of thought to something POSITIVE in your life instead . . .
And then FEEL & SEE how it changes your life in many small positive ways . . .
It's a human failing (& a conditioning we pass along) to want more & complain . . .
But just like other conditioning we all received ~ it CAN BE CHANGED . . .
The cycle of negativity CAN BE BROKEN . . .
If we truly wish to have a more positive, peaceful & loving world . . .
Then each one of us needs to exemplify that positivity in our daily behavior . . .

SENDING ALL THE POSITIVE ENERGY I CAN MUSTER OUT INTO THE UNIVERSE SO THAT EVERYONE WHO WISHES TO CAN LATCH ONTO IT & BEGIN THEIR OWN PROCESS OF PRODUCTIVE, POSITIVE THOUGHT & FOCUS ~ THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF HOW WE WILL WORK TOGETHER TO CHANGE OUR WORLD

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

I See You...

Sharing an excerpt from my book 'Love it Forward', available on Amazon and at www.soulshaping.com/loveitforward.  To be seen heals so much...

This is exactly how I feel....how so many of us feel.  We feel invisible, unseen in this vast world of people.  We sometimes feel that we aren't worthy to be seen; but we really know better; we just don't know how to jump off that "wall" and stop being a "wall flower". 

Please, please......someone SEE me.........let me hear those words I SEE YOU...

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Is It 2014 Already?

It is true; "Time waits for no one"....it certainly hasn't waited for me.  I look at the last time I wrote in this blog and it amazes me that I've let that much of my life fly by.  I don't think I intended to; it just happened without me even noticing.

Ah, such key words..."without me even noticing".  I realize now that much of this past year or so I've lived under a mist; a fog...deliberatley obscurring my view of the world around me.  I've become somewhat of a hermit; closing myself inside; only coming out on rare occasions.  That hasn't been a bad thing, overall......I needed and still need the retreat; but it has started to become the "norm" and not the "exception".  I am struggling everyday to get out of this "norm"....I know it's not healthly; I've been here before and it nearly killed me; literally.  But, saying the words; or having people tell me "you just have to let it go...the past is the past.....move forward.....forget about the past" does more damage than good.  If you've ever been in a severe depression; you already know that the people saying those things haven't a clue what it's like to be clinically depressed.  Sure; some maybe recovering alcoholics, former drug addicts......but I'm guessing that their hells are very different from clinical depression.  The one thing hat rings the same is that we all need outside help to overcome our illness.  I am very proud of my friends who have fought their demon and won; and continue to win each and everyday......I hope to be among you some day.

I know therapy is out there for me.....been there; done that......but now; it's the cost, the damn insurance company sqaubbles about mental health.  Even though much of the stigma about depression and mental health has turned around.........there is still this little piece, just hanging there; like the last of a scab on a wound.......and it is SO visible to big, heartless insurance companies.  As a result; I don't receive theraphy now. 

Now; all I can do is trust in my God that all things will work out....that He is in control and I am His child.  I can only try to be the best person I can at this time......sending out good karma when I can; believing good karma will be returned to me.  I admit......it's hard; so very hard; since this is an "instant gratification" world.

But, I'm not going to be a quitter......I will keep on the best I can under the circumstances I am in.  All I ask of anyone is to remember me in their prayers or chants or talks with their God.....that is where the answer is; in the spirit.