Why am I crying?

Endless tears just keep falling;

sadness overwhelms me in ways that feel so permanent

I don't even know why I'm crying; why they won't stop.

I should be somewhat happy; yet happiness

eludes me like a ghost unseen.

My feelings of sadness are so deep; slipping me deep

down my well of hell....and I don't know why.

It has been a long time since I have felt this helpless...

this hopeless; this sadness; this depression.

Have I really forgotten how to smile 

and only remember how to cry?

Have I really lost what love I had in my life

and remember only pain?

Oh heart, deceitful heart; why do you torment me so?

My heart; oh heart; where have you tossed the love

I once had known?

I yearn to be loved like the desert yearns for water

I yearn to be loved like the child without a mother

I yearn to be loved like a woman by a man

who sees me for who I am, not what I can

do

My arms are so empty, and longed to be filled

with the tender embrace of a man 

a man who is in love with me; the good and the bad

the perfect and the imperfect

who accepts me and can see no other before me

a man who puts me first in his life; as I put him first in mine

isn't that how love is suppose to be?

Please God; fill the emptiness that is me

fill the heart that is crushed

God, I pray thee; send me the love You have

always meant for me

Hear my desperation; hear my prayer, my plea;

for without you, none of this can be.

I will die without love, unconditional love; 

I will die